Probably not a good thought....
I went to visit my daddy yesterday for fathers day, and received some pretty alarming news. My daddy is having surgery this morning, and wasn't going to tell anyone because he didn't want to take any of the attention away from his dying brother.
A little background, my uncle is an extreme alchoholic, has been for years, as long as i can remember. He has ruined 2 marriages, countless relationships, his two children despise him, not to mention the turmoil and embarassment he has caused my grandmother and my daddy. My uncle is a great man, when he is sober. Those times however, are very very rare.
A couple of months ago, they found out he had prostate cancer. They treated him for that, and fortunately caught in time for him to make a full recovery. At that time, his doctor told him he had extreme kidney disease and if he didn't stop drinking he would die within months. He also told him, even if he did stop drinking, his life would be cut short.
Well fast forward three months, my uncle still drinks, and now he is very ill. His only hope is a kidney transplant, which he would not be a candidate for because he is a heavy alchoholic.
My grandmother is very upset, and rightfully so, it is her son. Here goes my bad thoughts....This is a self induced illness, it cannot be the focus of life, and certainly you cannot make it so that your healthy son, the one that has always taken care of her, supported her and been the stable one in her life, doesn't want to tell his own mother that he is having surgery, because he feels that his surgery is so small compared to his brothers.
It angers me the stand that she has taken, to the point i have started to feel very guilty. My grandmother makes it seem like he is this innocent person and he was struck with this life threatening illness. But he is not, you have to know that after 40 years of drinking 24 beers a day, your kidneys would eventually shut down. My uncle is to the point that 2 cases of beer do not even make him drunk, they just provide the fix.... that is awful... my dad and grandmother have urged him to AA meetings, my dad has taken care of him, he has moved in with my grandmother so she can help him through the years. But bottom line, if you don't want to help yourself, and you are not willing to do it for your children, or your family, then there is no help for you...
Off that soap box :) I wish my daddy the best of luck through his surgery today, and i hope he knows that no matter what is going on in my life i will always be there for him, and there is nothing in my life that would ever overshadow him.
I went to visit my daddy yesterday for fathers day, and received some pretty alarming news. My daddy is having surgery this morning, and wasn't going to tell anyone because he didn't want to take any of the attention away from his dying brother.
A little background, my uncle is an extreme alchoholic, has been for years, as long as i can remember. He has ruined 2 marriages, countless relationships, his two children despise him, not to mention the turmoil and embarassment he has caused my grandmother and my daddy. My uncle is a great man, when he is sober. Those times however, are very very rare.
A couple of months ago, they found out he had prostate cancer. They treated him for that, and fortunately caught in time for him to make a full recovery. At that time, his doctor told him he had extreme kidney disease and if he didn't stop drinking he would die within months. He also told him, even if he did stop drinking, his life would be cut short.
Well fast forward three months, my uncle still drinks, and now he is very ill. His only hope is a kidney transplant, which he would not be a candidate for because he is a heavy alchoholic.
My grandmother is very upset, and rightfully so, it is her son. Here goes my bad thoughts....This is a self induced illness, it cannot be the focus of life, and certainly you cannot make it so that your healthy son, the one that has always taken care of her, supported her and been the stable one in her life, doesn't want to tell his own mother that he is having surgery, because he feels that his surgery is so small compared to his brothers.
It angers me the stand that she has taken, to the point i have started to feel very guilty. My grandmother makes it seem like he is this innocent person and he was struck with this life threatening illness. But he is not, you have to know that after 40 years of drinking 24 beers a day, your kidneys would eventually shut down. My uncle is to the point that 2 cases of beer do not even make him drunk, they just provide the fix.... that is awful... my dad and grandmother have urged him to AA meetings, my dad has taken care of him, he has moved in with my grandmother so she can help him through the years. But bottom line, if you don't want to help yourself, and you are not willing to do it for your children, or your family, then there is no help for you...
Off that soap box :) I wish my daddy the best of luck through his surgery today, and i hope he knows that no matter what is going on in my life i will always be there for him, and there is nothing in my life that would ever overshadow him.
posted by smeggs5 | 8:09 AM
4 Comments:
My prayers are with you and your family right now for a full and safe recovery for your daddy. you are right about the issue at hand though.you can't help those who know what they have to do but don't want help themselves. Hang in there!
I see where you get it - you do the same thing - don't want to bring attention to yourself - but sometimes we all need a little attention.
Ask Michelle - she just happens to need a bit more than others. Just kidding! lol
Oh just wait until you are within my reach mr DB! I'm gonna open a fresh can of whoop ass on ya!! Southern style since you won't be getting a taste of southern living for quite awhile. HAHA
One more thing I forgot to add....I knew we always had alot in common and now it's a proven fact. I too have an alcoholic uncle just like the one you described. He lives at home with my grandparents and is going to be the cause of my 80 year old grandmothers demise. Once she's gone that man is gonna have hell to pay!! I'm going to personally kick his butt!!! He'll be homeless and will really find out how much he's hurt his family.
Post a Comment
<< Home